On my mind.

So what has been bothering me lately is the fact that I can't seem to find the time to do the things I desire to do. This sounds like a dumb excuse to not follow your bliss. But after coming home from work (although I come home at a reasonable time of the day) I feel myself drained of all energy, all I can do is lay on the couch and eat and watch stupid TV shows. It sucks. It completely disconnects me from my spirituality, my creativity and my imagination. I feel like it makes me dumb and dead...

The problem is I don't want my work life to be the MAIN focus of my day, of my life, of my hours spent on this planet. I don't want to waste breaths on the emotions I have when I feel drained of all my creative energy and strive. It is a terrible feeling.
And I still haven't found a remedy for this. Incrementing small things like lighting a candle in the evening and silently sit in prayer or simply drawing a rune/tarot or oracle Card is what I am trying to do at the moment.
It is a really small way to start but I guess I have to start with small steps...

The Stars...

A few days ago I felt the urge to go out on the balcony at night to look at the stars. It was a clear night sky, black with a waxing moon, cold air and thousands of stars looking down on me. It felt magical just looking at the universe and experiencing infinity...
Doing this gives you a shift in your perspective on things. Suddenly your problems of the day don't feel as big anymore. You know that you, and everyone around you is just STARDUST.

I will remind myself now to do this more often when there is a clear night sky because the mundane life can keep you so occupied that you forget WHERE and WHAT you really are...

...

I just ride.

Last day at the office... counting the hours, watching the clock tick away the minutes. Because when the clock tells me it's 4 in the afternoon, I'm outta here! And I will be free for three weeks.
Summer Holidays with my man. And a motorcycle. And lots of Aperol. Vinyl. Sunbathing. Morning runs in the forest park. Swimming of course. Catching up on un-read books. Reconciling with my guitars again. They felt abandoned. I'm going to wake them from their gentle sleep to get lost in tunes after sunset.


I am fed up with this work shit. It doesn't mean anything to me. They all spend their lives like hamsters in a wheel, just working their fucking asses off pretending to be someone special because they have some sort of title before their names. To me they are all a bunch of LOSERS. A stupid carreer is not a LIFE.